I have been single since I fractured my spine in the beginning of October. I have not even ATTEMPTED a date since that time. At first it was due to the fact that I was fresh out of a relationship I hoped was going to work, and then it was because I was completely focused on my health.
I did not feel like myself, look like myself (thank you Cushing's Syndrome for the lovely moon face and belly), or have the desire to even TRY to put on an act for anyone. Once I stabilized on my "normal" dose prednisone (15 mg), I started to feel the shift in my personality, back to a more healthy sense of self. The weight from the Cushing's Syndrome is SLOWLY coming off...about a pound a week...I have about eight more pounds to go before I will be satisfied. So far so good, especially with my new diagnosis of hypothyroidism (which does make weight loss more difficult, especially around the mid-section). I also feel as if I do not have to put on a show for anyone, but can be myself...and flirting is fun again.
The scary part, for me, with meeting someone NEW is that the guy does not know the details and realities about my illness. I always explain that I have lupus, autonomic dysfunction, spinal fractures, etc...but dealing with the everyday symptoms of a chronic illness are difficult in the best of circumstances, when trying to cope with them while just learning about each other and trying to have FUN is a whole different ball game.
I am trying to take one day at a time and just go with it...hopefully I will finally meet the right guy...the one who can accept ALL of me...love ALL of me.
Ivy,
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! Don't let lupus hold you back from happiness, although I know it is definitely hard to get out there. And even harder to make it seem "fun" when it can be such a hassle sometimes. I wish you the best of luck!
P.S. If you put yourself out there openly and confidently, there's no way anyone can resist!! It worked for me! :)
http://www.mommieandwee.org
Ivy, one of the first things i learned to do in order to have fun again, in spite of the debilitating symptoms of dis-ease, was to laugh at myself. When i lost most of my hair and struggled to cover bald spots with unsightly comb-overs, my sister said i looked like Fire Marshall Bill (i might be showing my age here, so you may have to google it). I laughed until i cried. I was reminded that all of this will pass. The scars fade, the moonface disappears, and you'll return to you. In just keeping up this blog, you've shown how much strength you have. Whoever does catch you, is a lucky man :)
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