Dating Again...

I have been single since I fractured my spine in the beginning of October.  I have not even ATTEMPTED a date since that time.  At first it was due to the fact that I was fresh out of a relationship I hoped was going to work, and then it was because I was completely focused on my health.

I did not feel like myself, look like myself (thank you Cushing's Syndrome for the lovely moon face and belly), or have the desire to even TRY to put on an act for anyone. Once I stabilized on my "normal" dose prednisone (15 mg), I started to feel the shift in my personality, back to a more healthy sense of self.  The weight from the Cushing's Syndrome is SLOWLY coming off...about a pound a week...I have about eight more pounds to go before I will be satisfied. So far so good, especially with my new diagnosis of hypothyroidism (which does make weight loss more difficult, especially around the mid-section). I also feel as if I do not have to put on a show for anyone, but can be myself...and flirting is fun again. 

The scary part, for me, with meeting someone NEW is that the guy does not know the details and realities about my illness.  I always explain that I have lupus, autonomic dysfunction, spinal fractures, etc...but dealing with the everyday symptoms of a chronic illness are difficult in the best of circumstances, when trying to cope with them while just learning about each other and trying to have FUN is a whole different ball game. 

I am trying to take one day at a time and just go with it...hopefully I will finally meet the right guy...the one who can accept ALL of me...love ALL of me. 

Fuzzy Head (and other symptoms) = Low Thyroid

So after months of tonic muscle spasms, headaches, throat spasms, chills, dry/itchy skin, depression, extreme exhaustion, weight issues (especially in the midsection), and a REALLY fuzzy mind (including stuttering at times), we finally figured out what is wrong...I have hypothyroidism.  The thyroid has to work overtime to create the thyroid hormone (TSH) to try to keep up with the body's demands.  Due to the overtime work of the thyroid, the TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone), is high.

This diagnosis was made when I went into the ER for stuttering.  Of course, the doctors immediately thought I had a stroke, and I am incredibly thankful the doctor thought enough to run a thyroid panel along with all the other blood work.  I did not have a stroke. With the headache, tonic spasms, and fuzzy mind along with the blood work, the diagnosis of hypothyroidism was made. 

My rheumatologist started me on the most natural form of thyroid medication (and the oldest), Armour Thyroid.  He started me on half the lowest dose, to make sure I did not have a reaction, since I am so sensitive to medications.  Unfortunately, the new medication can take five weeks to START working.  I feel a little better with the spasms, but the exhaustion, fuzzy mind, depression, and dry/itcy skin are still quite annoying!  Also, a side effect of the medication is hair loss...for at least three months as the body adjusts. Sigh...yes, this seems to be one side effect I am experiencing.  I have to keep reminding myself it is temporary. 

I think the worst thing for me right now is the depression and fuzzy mind...although I am wondering which came first. I know that depression can CAUSE a fuzzy mind, and I know that a fuzzy mind can CAUSE depression...I have a feeling that in my case, the fuzzy mind is causing the depression.  I am not used to "seeing through cobwebs". That is the best way to describe how I am thinking these days. 

I have a thyroid ultrasound on Friday because my doctors noticed that it feels enlarged.
The only thing left to say is I hope as the medication starts to work, the days become brighter as I drag myself back from the edge of the darkness and try my best to see through the cobwebs.