Moving Forward...Different Meanings for Different People

I have come to realize that the term "moving forward" means different things to different people.  For me, moving forward doesn't mean moving forward with a career path YET.  I emphasized yet because although it does not mean that for me right now, I am hopeful that it will in the future. Right now, though, like so many with chronic illness, moving forward means taking pride in the victories many people cannot see.

Just this past week I moved forward by being able to take my back brace off during parts of the day and night.  I also was able to shower myself, which, up to this point, since fracturing my spine, I have not been able to do.  It also meant that I was strong enough to, each day, get my own lunch, snacks, and refill my drink.

I did have a flare up of my lupus symptoms this week after spending all morning in the sun on the weekend after taking my parents to Butterfly World as their Valentine's Day present.  Although this knocked me back for a few days, we all had a wonderful time that day, and I do not regret going.  Some things are just worth it...and the beauty that surrounded us that day was one of those things.  I was even able to stand to take some pictures...I viewed that as moving forward, as well. I even came to realize how much I enjoy taking photographs of animals...something to think about, and maybe research as my healing progresses.

I also started writing my book again...a fantasy/romance novel.  It is definitely for adults, super creative, and has nothing to do with illness, which makes it perfect for me as a form of escapism.  I consider that moving forward, too.  Although I do not write while I have a migraine, for obvious reasons, I was pleased that the ideas did not stop, so today I started writing again.  Only a few days break this time.  I write in short bursts, but the words just flow out in that time as if they were stored up and just had to be put down somewhere until there were none left.  Again, I consider that moving forward.

Other people would see these things as trivial...or not enough.  I see them as strides in the right direction. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day, and my body will not heal in one either.  Until it does, I will take pride in each and every step I am able make that puts me one step closer to health.  Yes, there will be set-backs, but that is the nature of the beast with auto-immune diseases, but if I can get myself back up to take those little steps forward again, I know I can continue to move forward to whatever destination I choose for myself.