After my last hospitalization, when I dropped down to 15 mg of prednisone and found that the two neoral were not working, I was raised up to, once again, 60 mg of prednisone to be brought down slowly as the neoral was raised to three pills a day. I am currently on 35 mg of prednisone, waiting for a few more weeks until my blood concentration of neoral can be tested to make sure that I have enough in my system before lowering below 20 mg of prednisone. I will not go through that kind of flare again for lack of knowledge.
Since I have been "stable" on the higher doses of prednisone, and feeling pretty well on the three neoral a day, I decided it was time to move forward with my life. I have been making phone calls and writing more emails to service dog facilities and trainers. I cleaned out all my old files and shredded what seemed like an endless amount of paperwork that was cluttering our filing cabinets, since we hope to move one day...hopefully sooner then later.
And then I did what I said I didn't want to do...I signed up for match.com. I finally realized that if I wanted to really move forward with my life, that I had to get up off my bum and take that final step. I had my Dad take me driving yesterday, since it had been over two years since I have driven. It has also been over two years since I have dated. It is time. It is time to put myself out there. No guy on a white horse is going to rush up to my door to come and rescue me from my life. I have to put myself out there. I have to do this for me.
I am 33 years old and way too young to be cooped up in the house pining away for a date when I feel good on the weekends. I am too young to wonder "what if"? Now, when I feel well enough to do this, is the time. It is my time to move forward.
If things fall backwards...well, that's why this blog is called the seesaw, but at least I will have tried! I am tired of regrets! NO MORE! I am forging ahead as steadily as I can. Wish me luck...I think I may need it on this one!
We all need luck in this life, but you can feel good that you're DOING IT -what you can, when you can, putting yourself out there. What else can any of us do? That's what it's all about ... Luck to ya, and love.
ReplyDeleteSo impressed by your strength. I wish and pray for love and good health for you. My dad likes to say that Enrique has been my cure to lupus - I've been significantly healthier since he's been in my life! It's true that having him in my life brings me joy and reduces my stress. I applaud your decision to get back out there! Have FUN!! :)
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