I Did The Right Thing...

As much as it pains me, I gave up another piece of my independence. It almost seems fitting that this is happening during Lupus Awareness Month, as this is the root of my problems.

Today, as I was making my appointment to renew my driver's license, the online form asked two very specific questions: "Have you fainted or had dizzy spells in the last 12 months?" and "Do you have a disability that could impact your ability to drive?". Those two questions knocked the wind right out of my sails.

I never thought I would have to answer questions about my health when renewing my license...I ASSumed all I would have to do was show up with the required documents and get my picture taken for a new one. Never did I think I would have to answer "yes" to the above questions, which will effectively stop me from getting one of the last pieces of independence I have left. 

No, I do not drive often...but when I am "well" for a length of time, it is always nice to know that I have the ability to get in the car and go. That will be taken away. More then likely I will only be able to get an ID card. Maybe if I can be "stable" for a good length of time one of my doctors will write a letter stating that I am well enough to drive again.

I know I could have lied...I could have easily checked the "no" box next to the fainting question and kept my ability to drive when I was able...but it just seemed too wrong to lie when asked a direct question about my health.  I am not that person.  Eventhough I threw myself a nice pity party, I still had to do the right thing. 

I am not ashamed that I have lupus. I know that this is not something I did to myself...I do everything in my power to help myself get and stay as healthy as possible. I take my medications, do the physical therapy, keep looking for better treatments, and TRY to keep a positive outlook. This is just one more thing I have to overcome...at least I can say that I did the right thing. For that, I am proud.